May is always a month of celebrations—graduations, Mother’s Day, Prom, End of school year honor programs and award ceremonies, and of course, Cinco de Mayo! But did you realize it is also the month of “DATE YOUR MATE” — a month to focus on taking your romantic relationship off “auto-pilot” and really giving it some intentional care and focus.
Whether you have been with your current mate for a decade or five decades, life happens— and we get busy with all kinds of distractions which take our time, energy and attention, often at the expense of time with our romantic partner. The relationship settles into a state of hum-drum, a rather boring and stale connection with little zest, adventure, or passion as a result. So, what do we do to fix that and get some spice back in our love-life with our partner?
Here are a few quick tips that could help ignite that fire again and help us get out of neutral:
- Surprise your mate with a sweet hand-written note to tell them what you most love about sharing life with them. In other words — make your own Hallmark card! Think back to when you first fell in love and what drew you to that person over all others. Share from your heart what you admire about them, and what you treasure about your life together. Hide this note under their pillow or put it next to their morning cup of coffee before the day begins. Little surprises such as this go a long way to spark the love flame again and warm the heart and soul of our mates.
- Plan a weekend or night away without the kids or other responsibilities, where you both can tune in to each other and enjoy uninterrupted quiet time together. Whether you choose to surprise your partner with a hotel getaway or you simply choose to reserve a table for two at your favorite restaurant, make a commitment to plan a “date night” that is focused on only you as a couple. Put cell phones and all other devices on mute and simply be in the moment in an intentional and deliberate way. Cherish this time as you rekindle that romance and connect with the deep love that brought you together in the beginning.
- You know your partner’s interests and hobbies the best, so surprise them with a gift certificate or experience that will celebrate that. In other words, if they love to shop, purchase a gift card to their favorite store and offer to stay at home with the kids so they can have an afternoon to enjoy themselves. If participating in a sport as a couple is what brings you both a feeling of intimacy, then arrange for that to happen. Ideas could be an afternoon on the golf course, a hike on your favorite trails or biking together for an afternoon followed by a picnic. This will provide you with time to talk and share together while you participate in this activity. The point is to plan in an intentional kind of way some fun things to do that honors your relationship and makes each person feel loved and cherished.
The recipe is quite simple to learning how to DATE YOUR MATE again! Focus in a purposeful way and then make some plans to put the sizzle back in your love nest! In just the same way we take our car in for regular tune-ups and assessments, we MUST focus on our romantic partners and what our relationship seems to be needing to THRIVE— so that it may also SURVIVE!
GO FOR IT— DATE YOUR MATE and watch for the sparks ignite as you breathe renewal into your relationship!